”It's impossible to be your own hero, yes?”4.5 StarsMy not so interesting M/M historyI remember about a year ago when I started noticing many of my GR friends latching onto the M/M fanclub, I mentioned it to my husband and said something to the effect of, "I wonder what all of these women get from two guys together?" And after wrinkling his nose in disgust, he replied, "Well, guys fantasize about two girls together..." to which I wrinkled up my nose in disgust. Vaginas? Eeeww...maybe I'm like...a half gay man?Well, after seeing the interest and popularity of this subgenre go a little bit cray cray, and after reading mainstream series such as Suzanne Brockmann's Troubleshooter's series (Jules and Robin, SWOON!) and J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brother hood (Qhuinn and Blay, SWOON, SWOON!!), I realized...ahem...yeah, two guys together is kinda hot! **blushing** Add in some angst and romance? Now just what is keeping me from jumping on the bandwagon? Why, nothing, actually. So, my lovely friend V and I decided to do our M/M cherry popping together...(eewww, V...are we that friendly?) and randomly polled our penis loving friends. After much deliberation (okay, one convo...it wasn't that hard to choose,) Hot Head was chosen as a great intro to the mysteries of all that is Male/Male romance.The Book:First we meet Griffin Muir:A ginger haired, six foot four inch, KILT WEARING firefighter in New York City, Griff is a tender, lost soul living a normal life. And while I never got the sense that Griff is totally fucked up in the head, this author did an amazing job of delving into the psyche of a conflicted soul. Griff has led a tough kind of life, mainly due to his lack of family and support system that are so important to the human spirit. Thank God that he's had Dante Anastagio, his best friend, and the entire Anastagio family to step in and give him love and support for all of his life's moments. Griff tried the marriage route, but after the brutal effects that 9/11 had on his mental state, his marriage failed and he's back to being a powerhouse of one. Except that he's not just one. Because Dante is there for him and with him every day, endlessly supportive in his own BIG, LOUD, Italian, obnoxious way.Dante, aside from being the best friend that Griff could ever ask for, is a big time skirt chaser. This Italian Stallion sure lives up to the stereotype. Being a firefighter in New York City after the sensationalism surrounding firefighters became so prevalent makes women easy pickings, and Dante takes advantage of his God-hood. In fact, in their younger days, Griff and Dante occasionally dabbled with women together because why not?Only, for some time now, Dante's big Italian hugs and gorgeous black eyes have had more of an effect on Griff than any woman ever had. And tactile as Dante is, it's becoming hard to hide the effect he has on his friend. "He needed to sit down and talk about everything and nothing with the only person who turned him inside out without even trying."My Thoughts:So, V and I decided on this one because we had heard that it was a little sexier than the other choice we were considering...the more penis the better, is that right, V? But I really was blown away by the romance that was within these pages. Griff just broke my heart, over and over again. He didn't just pine for his best friend. He longed for Dante. But the thought that Dante would ever reciprocate wasn't even a remote possibility in his mind. So Griff tries to tentatively explore the feelings that he's only now admitting to himself...he's attracted to men. Is he gay? But what if he's only attracted to that ONE person? The one person he could never admit these feelings to? Not only will he lose Dante, but the only family that he's ever known...really, his only people in all the world. "Mr. Muir, loving your Dante is not a bad thing. He certainly loves you...although I don't know if he can love you in the way you wish. Or I wish, for that matter. Only he knows. You understand? Life is very rarely romantic."When has a moment of revelation about the state of his finances and his half-baked idea to save himself, Griff is fairly stunned. And for good reason. Because this idea includes Griff...and Dante...and lots of naked skin. It's more than Griff ever dreamed he'd get from Dante, and yet he still has to hold back, because losing Dante for good would destroy him. Dante's openness with his sexuality and his "best buds will do anything for each other" mentality don't mean that Griff can reveal his feelings. They just mean that he'll get a fantasy come to life, and he plans on rolling with it!!Now, this story is loaded...and I do mean LOADED with sexual tension! After all, men think about sex every four minutes, or something like that?! I'm a healthy American female, but good grief! So seeing as how this was written by a man and is about TWO men, the lotsa sexy times should be a foregone conclusion. But I was wrong there. That is not to say that there isn't a good amount of sexy times...there are quite a few fantasy inducing scenes...masturbation and voyeuristic and yummy like that. But the actual sex is reserved for one of the hottest, most beautifully romantic, hottest, sweetest, hottest, intense, and oh yeah, did I mention HOTTEST love scenes ever! It almost makes me wish Damon Suede would lower himself enough to write a hetero book, because I could totally use his kind of loving in some of my other romances!!! The big difference that I noticed when it comes to the sex is how dirty it is...while still retaining romance, somehow. But the amount of fluid and lack of fastidiousness and the utter raw, animal lust that is involved was staggering. This is sex at the most primal level, a need that goes beyond lust. Simply put: It. Was. Awesome! Although why can you not do that to a woman, Griff? No excuses, buddy...women are not fragile creatures, and I felt like he was patting women on their little heads as an excuse to treat them as such. I had a couple of issues with some things: mainly, don't excuse your homosexuality, Griff! So you didn't lust after your wife like you lust after Dante. She wanted rough, passionate sex and you didn't. That's not because you wanted to be gentle, that's because you're gay. Maybe that lesson was learned for him later in the book, idk. Another: pigeonholing all Republicans as gay bashing budget cutters is the same as any other stereotyping, so I wish that people would be careful with that. (Granted, this was one tiny comment, but it's a sensitive subject for me) Last thing: the CHEATING! Holy crap, does every married firefighter cheat in this book? From page one, at the ten year anniversary of 9/11, husband infidelity is rampant in this book, and it got to be a bit of a downer. Anniversary for the death of hundreds of your comrades? Go fuck a new girl!! Having problems at work/home/life? Pick a hoochie, any hoochie!! Even the newly out setup for Suede's next book was cheating on his wife. I'm not one to forgive that slip up very easily, and despite Tommy's heartbreaking story, he's still a cheater. How can I get behind that? We'll see.So my apologies for this ridiculously long review...I'm so glad that I finally took the plunge. Many thanks to those who encouraged me, even after my wishy-washiness. Griff and Dante are such a memorable couple, and I'm anxiously awaiting more by this awesome author!!My favorite quote:No one deserves to be punished for loving with an open heart."
 - Damon Suede)
